having a yaya*: a necessity or a privilege?

*yaya. Filipino noun for nanny.

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as much as i want to say this deserves a serious academic treatise, which i think it does on a social anthropology approach, i'd rather go straight to saying that, under my circumstances, yes, having a yaya is a necessity.

 

in a third world country where day care is expensive and schools require the presence of parents during classes, having day care centers and preschools left and right totally defeats the purpose of providing quality alternative child care.  while our office has its own day care center as mandated by law, they don't even take in kids less than 3 years old.  and woe to the single mom (that's me) who will even think of leaving her child in the care of an institution sans a, you guessed it, yaya, raising eyebrows and eliciting hushed remarks about having misplaced priorities and for being selfish.

 

sometimes i wonder if i'm really being selfish... by making sure that my career goes well, that i still have "a life", while leaving the son at home with the yayas.  i will not kill myself over this thought, because i know i am doing my best.  but i am only human.  there are a lot of times when i have doubts about my style of parenthood, but frankly, i don't know how else to handle my situation.  it's the best i can do, all things (and responsibilities) considered.

 

when rauf was 0-2 months, i took care of him 24/7 while i was on maternity leave.  when i had to go back to work, mommy made sure she was the hands-on mom, because she didn't want the yaya to handle her precious apo, up until he was 6 months old.  here i was, the biological mother, making sure that my career growth would not suffer, while my mommy kept on and on about rauf deserving a full-time mom.  well, ma, i try. i really really try. you knew that, you know that. (i miss you oh so baaaad.)  at the end of the day you knew why: i was technically working alone in making sure that rauf was provided for, and provided for well.  what would have happened to us had i not worked?  i rest my case.

 

which brings me to the meat of my, uh, rant. (you noticed?. hehe.)  when you're a solo parent without a parent to rely on to watch over your little one while you're at work, and you really don't want to impose on your loving, supportive siblings to provide alternative parenting, who else can you rely on but... the yaya.  there's no one else but her. (well, them, in my case.)

 

while i have 2 yayas, one full-time, the other an alternate part-timer, sometimes it just happens that they disappear at the same time and i get stuck, not knowing how to handle things without their help.  i feel for them.  yaya d's son has dengue fever, while yaya p's grandchild also caught the same.  (according to the latest updates, their platelets are going up. thank God.)  rauf and i are okay; we can handle it together.  but definitely, when the yayas are away, i cannot go to work. like today.

 

life as a solo parent is full of its ups and downs.  add to that the demands in my line of work, when i'm on call 24/7.  (even my alternative supposedly "secret" phone was ringing off the hook even while i was on vacation.  i had to switch it off. tee-hee.)  last week, a few hours after the pacquiao fight, the boss called me for a rush job.  while he was talking to me, rauf was shouting "mommy! mommyyyyyyy! mommyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!". the boss just said, "oh. you're with your son..." i was like, "yes, sir. but i'll get on it ASAP and will call you back in a while."

 

i need the yayas back. now. asap. one is enough :)

 

sigh. the things we gotta do.

 

c'est la vie :)