the conspiracy of silence

all throughout my 6-year stay in UP Law, i was surrounded by close girlfriends who decided (either by choice or by chance) to have kids while in school.  they carried their pregnancy with ease and grace. 

in fact, one of my closest friends, at the height of her first pregnancy (she had 4 children all in all while in law) during our sophomore year, even had the audacity to correct judge salazar in our crim 2 class:
judge salazar:  mrs. perey, what are the elements of this crime?
lumen:  sir, it's miss perey.  (without batting an eyelash.  and she was 6 months round when this happened)

when it was time to give birth, they didn't even have to file for a leave of absence.  lumen's maximum "maternity leave" was 2 weeks, even after giving birth to twins.  lyne's too. 

yet never, NEVER, did i hear them tell me or anyone else how difficult it is to be a mom...

how praning you would be watching over your baby, scared of what would happen to him in his sleep. 

how exhausted you could become, lulling your baby to sleep and dozing off to sleep yourself, in the process. 

how your vocal chords would refuse to sing another lullaby. 

how your feet would refuse to be dragged to do another waltz.

i am not complaining.  i love rauf with all my heart.  but everyone out there should know that no matter how happy moms appear to be, EXHAUSTION is the name of the game.

and my game has barely begun.


happy mother's day to all!!!