second chances

i am taking this leap of faith, despite all the odds, because deep down i know that we've never given each other this one true shot at really trying.  

the funny thing is, we both know this isn't just the second chance.  but if we really look back, this just may be our first, one true chance.  according to arlene, maybe it's time.  and maybe, just maybe, it works out for us this time around.

it's been 38 hours and i can't seem to stop counting... 

this misery has got to stop.

because, frankly, i haven't felt this kilig-happy in a long time :D

thank you, you... hope floats. 

for JP

september 1 was always your day... sadly, we never got to spend any of your birthdays together.  our parents used to say that you looked like niccolo, only we were of the same skin color.  which makes you really, really handsome then :)

 

sometimes we talk about you... like how many girlfriends would you have had by now, or what your chosen profession would have been, or how many siblings in all would we have been had you not left us after only 13 days on earth...  

 

we know, though, that no matter how many imagined lives (and lifestyles) we can dream up for you, still we would get no answer.  we never spent time with you, but know that we never forgot you.

 

today is your first birthday with mom.  i hope you're celebrating in your own, happy, groovy way up there in heaven.  we've had mom all this time, now she's all yours.  i'm sure you're making good time catching up.  please take care of mom over there, ok? better yet, take care of each other.  we're doing the same over here.

 

so, little brother, happy happy would-have-been 32nd birthday!!! we love you.  to heaven and back. i hope you & mom hear us loud and clear :)) warm big hugs to you & mom in the great beyond!