but i don't know what to write about.
i can't write about work, because literally from where i am sitting now, practically everything i do has implications on the boss. gone are the days when i can exercise my right to free speech and expression without any self-imposed restrictions. every little word i utter or move i make is a reflection of the office i hold. i wish i could write in innuendos instead, but crafting the mystery would take much effort. i'm a simple, no-nonsense writer: i write what i think and how i feel. so lest i be misinterpreted, let's just leave it at that :)
so i can write about Rauf. how he's growing up so fast, and becoming smarter AND infinitely naughtier. i couldn't leave the house this morning, as he was demanding that i sit down and sing some songs with him on the magic mic. i had done my whole usual set and his current favorite (jingle bells) when he took my hand and told me that he wanted to take a nap - not alone, but beside me. but i had to go. sigh. the pains of solo working moms.
and i guess i can also write about the siblings. how proud i am of my sister, who is leaving in january for a short course in japan. and my brother who is preparing for his boards (finally!). and my other brother who is neck deep in finishing his thesis. and yet another brother who is making waves as a singer/songwriter. and the brother who so confidently lounges around the house, playing best friend to Rauf. and the youngest brother who i think is falling in love for the first time. yiheee.
and of course, i can write about the guy who has turned my world upside down. he can be such a dude most of the time, and thank God for the infinite patience that my job entails, the patience i also have to apply on our relationship is peanuts :) i ab-so-lute-ly cannot wait to spend time with him soon.
and something happened today that made me reassess my friendships. today i accepted the fact that in all my humanity, keeping and maintaining friends has taken a toll on me. that in fact, there's such a thing as too many friends. and corollary to that is the truth that when your path suddenly takes a different turn, not everyone whom you consider as friends will take that turn with you. and those who stay, well, they're the ones worthy of keeping. because they fight with you, beside you, whether for the right or the wrong reasons. they wait for you, they make time for you, they call you or message you in the weirdest of hours, knowing that you're also awake. that's why they're called friends. (you know who you are. teeheee.)
and then i can write about me. that, at the very core of my being, i am just simply going with the flow and refusing to be still for now. shining, soaring, waiting. and just having fun.
everything, i believe, is just as it should be.
carpe diem. and merry christmas! :)
