two months kaming palipat-lipat.
pag gising sa umaga, textan o tawagan...
"san tayo ngayon?"
depende kung nasan sya, dapat nandun kami.
two months na magulo, yung magulong exciting, yung magulong challenging.
during the day, we would exhaust our resources and networks (salamat sa lahat ng friendly-friends!!!) to update our databases and look for information. we would study the latest worksheets and data, and read into the possibilities of who could be in, or who could we just give up on for the meantime. work would reach fever pitch at around dinner time, when cellphones were on, when the people we were calling would actually answer their phones.
na-tempt nga ako gumawa ng study ng pinaka-nakakatawang ring back tune. may opisyal na ang tune "gotta believe in magic", which was very apt considering how wary people were of the automated elections, and magic talaga kung magic pag they pull it off (which they did. kudos.). may isa namang tanders na nga, pero ang ring back tune e "jump" ni flo-rida. marami-raming "poker face" na nakakasawa na din pakinggan, bad trip nga na maririnig mo pati pa sa cellphone. sa dami ng narinig ko, na more or less e pinagtatawanan ko almost always, pati si boss, na-praning. isang gabi, sabi nya, "tawagan mo nga ako. baka naman may kanta-kanta din ako, hindi ko alam kung ano." ring lang naman. buti nalang. kasi kung nagkataon na meron, ako pa gagawa ng paraan pano i-off yung tune na yun. haha.
but behind the busy-ness, and the whirlwind schedule, and the happy feeling of helping pull off something of 'national' importance, my personal relationships suffered.
quality time with rauf meant making it home just in time to put him to sleep, and leaving the house late just so we could cuddle upon waking and say our morning prayers together. i couldn't go out with any of my friends, kasi hindi naman lahat pwedeng magsimula ng inuman ng 11pm or midnight, and mas gusto ko na umuwi sa anak kong halos hindi ko nakikitang gising. kahit coffee dates, ang hirap isingit, kasi on-call nga kami. e & i were like strangers passing in the night, barely talking, both exhausted. twice lang ako naka-apak sa mall, pareho pang mabilisan yun. isang beses lang ako nakanood ng sine, at tinulugan pa ko ng kasama kong pagod din.
iniisip ko kung kelan ako nagkaron ng oras para sa sarili ko nung 2 months na yun...
wala. as in, wala.
probably yung downtime, pwede ko ma-count as me-time... pero hindi rin. kasi downtime meant that i was still physically at some place filled with activity and/or related to work, nagkataon lang na may pause sa trabaho. di ba hindi counted yun? (gaya ng ngayon?)
so heto, tapos na ang eleksyon. panalo halos lahat ng sinuportahan ko, pwera sa isang nakabinbin pa hanggang ngayon. hinihintay nalang ang proclamation ng An Waray (yes, thank you!!!). sayang yung kay kit, and kay kris, ang saya sana nun kung magkikita kami sa plenary pag may session... pero sige lang. tuloy lang ang laban.
for some, rest na sila sa trabaho. yung iba, balik homebase na. kami, hindi pa. tuloy pa rin. walang tigil 'to until maseguro ang lahat-lahat... but that can never happen until the 15th Congress opens its first regular session on the third monday of July, just before the new President (sana naman proclaimed na sya nun) delivers his first SONA.
until then, eto, nabubuhay. lumalaban. nasasaktan. naguguluhan. pero tuloy-tuloy lang... no choice e.
pasensya na sa lahat ng inarte, sa lahat ng gripes, sa lahat ng hindi ko nabigyan ng pansin, sa lahat ng mga nangyari that i couldn't be part of. hindi ibig sabihin you are less important than others. because otherwise, i would be less important to myself. buti nalang baby pa si rauf, hindi pa sya nagtatanong kung bakit wala ako sa tabi nya pag naglalaro sya...
to those who understood, or are now trying to understand, salamat. gagawa at gagawa ako ng paraan mag-reach out sa inyo when the right time comes. sana hindi pa huli when that happens.
until then.
kakayanin ko 'to. even if i'm all alone, i just need to stay alive. and rock. and roll.
