the future of democracy

my favorite female political icon is cory aquino. 

my high school essays were either about her or peppered with references about the Filipinos' achievements in edsa.  my law school entrance exam essay was about the spirit of edsa and cory aquino's influence on philippine politics. and when i applied to become a philippine delegate to the international student week in ilmenau, germany in 2003, my application essay was about cory aquino, edsa and philippine democracy.

when i got accepted to the conference, all i was concerned about were my travel plans, funding sources and finding a travel buddy.  i couldn't care less about being academically prepared for the focus group i was going to participate in:  "the future of democracy, group A."  i thought i could hack it, believing i knew everything there was to know about democracy, the philippine experience and all that jazz.  i was, after all, a law student who had passed consti law 1 and had even read the annex to the philippine constitution.  i knew that the sovereign will of the Filipino people shall always be above the Constitution because of edsa.

on our first break-out session and after making our introductions for the second time that day, i distinctly remember someone tapping my shoulder and telling me that she was from belarus and had read all about the "edsa revolution" and could i tell her how the philippines did it.

i was prepared to talk about edsa, what happened in edsa and why the people came together at that time.  but to tell someone from another country HOW we did it was beyond me.

so i told her everything i knew.  that the people were just basically tired of marcos and the way he was running the country.  that there was this brave man named ninoy who was marcos' archenemy, and that to the filipino people, ninoy was the anti-thesis of marcos.  that on the day ninoy arrived, he was gunned down at the tarmac before he even set foot on philippine soil.  that the people had given him the largest ever funeral known in philippine history (as far as i knew).  that his wife cory, a homemaker, later took on his fight.  and that the filipino people fought the fight with her.  but how we did it, i didn't really know.  i opined that it was a conglomeration of events and passions, all geared towards gaining back the freedom that our country and people had once enjoyed.

i also told her about edsa 2 and how cory played a major role in toppling down yet another president in 2001.

she was looking at me with amazement the whole time i was telling her the greatest political story i have ever known in my lifetime, and when i finished, she just said, "i think we need a leader like your Cory."

my heart swelled with pride.  here was a foreigner wishing she had a leader like the one we had, believing that the philippine experience was worth emulating in her own country.

all these memories came rushing back when i found out that cory had died. 

i didn't cry at first, because i really believed that her dying made her reach that happy place where she couldn't anymore experience all the pain caused by her cancer.  while the whole country was praying for her recovery, i was praying for God to put an end to all her suffering.  but when i saw kris on tv, sharing her grief and the whole story to the world, i was crying with her.  she had lost a mother.  the philippines had lost a leader.  i had lost an icon.

the two-and-a-half hour wait to see cory's remains lying in state at la salle greenhills was worth it.  i knew i had to pay my respects, and the five seconds we were allowed to see her was more than enough.  she looked peaceful, and i believed my prayers were right on the mark.

the following day, a monday, i was driving to work and thinking about the surreal experience i had just went through when i felt tears falling.  i had to slow down and get a grip on myself.  yet the tears kept flowing. 

it dawned on me that i wasn't crying just for cory. nor for the country.  but for myself, for losing a beacon of hope in my firm grip on the ideals of democracy, freedom and the common good, things which i continue to work for in my own little way.  at that moment, i didn't know if there was, or is, anyone else left to look up to and emulate.  and that was, and is, the sad truth.

the grateful crowd that sent off cory was a fitting tribute to the woman, mother and leader that she was to our country and to our people. 

i was there.  i was wet, tired and hungry, but i had to say goodbye.  i waited for five hours for her to pass by.  and when she did, i was proudly chanting her name and flashing the Laban sign.  and i clapped with the throng, in gratitude for everything that she allowed us to regain in edsa:  our sovereignty, our dignity, and our pride as a people.

and in my heart of hearts i vowed i would do my best to protect the future of democracy in the philippines.  in my own way, in my own little way.

rest in peace, president aquino.  this humble civil servant will never forget you.