touching base

i'm still good friends with one of my ex-es. I used to not count him as an ex because when we were together, we didn't have the usual bf-gf rules. But an ex is an ex is an ex, i guess, in whatever shape, height, iq level or nomenclature.

So anyway, this ex started as & has always been a very good, dear friend. we've gone on & had other relationships (and other ex-es) but we've always kept in touch, mostly through text or the sporadic phone call. Looking back, i think since we 'parted ways', we've tried to hang out at least once a year, just to catch up on things. The chances of meeting up would be higher if one of us was in crisis mode (like me needing him for an emergency case or him calling me for urgent legal stuff), or when the advice of our regular best friends wouldn't be enough in really big, monumental events (like him realizing that he failed his last relationship or me realizing the same with mine). You know, stuff.

(hey, if i were in serious trouble now or in the future, he still would be the first one i'd call, presuming he doesn't change his number.)

i know some, or most, people don't understand the depth of the friendship that we have. And yes, this has always been a sensitive issue with our respective partners (though i obviously don't have one now. He does.). But ours is a friendship tested through time, our own failed relationship, and the successive loves, aches & issues that both of us went through with others. It's also an investment, personally & career-wise, for both of us. Quid pro quo.

And now... He's so in love with his 'good luck charm' and i'm happy for him. (for real. Honest to goodness real. And i'm not being defensive.) and for once, i believed him when he said he wants this relationship to really work, because... Because... Every two sentences or so, the name X would come out in the conversation and he would literally, actually beam, it was so funny (those who know him would understand why). I'd even harness a play at the word 'gushing' even if it really doesn't fit his personality.

I wished them well. I wish them well.

And when i got off the car, i told him he had to set me up with someone soon. He laughed and told me that he'd try, but not to bet on it. And he told me to kiss rauf for him.

Then i realized: i just went through hours of hearing his girl's name & i even offered to meet her soon. Him? He saw my son's pics & videos but he rejected being ninong, missed the baptism, forgot the birthday & those ordinary lets-have-coffee-i'll-pick-you-up days when he could have seen rauf.

I so totally get it. Or not.

C'est la vie.