random ramblings

i am so stuck with a list of deadlines past and near-future.  i can't seem to keep up.  it's so hard writing memoranda and legal opinions when (1) you honestly believe that there's no way out if you stick to black-letter law yet know that there are excuses left somewhere in the gray areas in between, (2) you have this stinking feeling of being dumped with more work than your supposed co-equals yet you all receive the same salaries and benefits, and (3) you are so friggin' tired of reading commentaries and cases and googling for eloquent statements you can paraphrase to lengthen your own writing and eventually, you still end up with grammatically-correct (believe me, it matters. if not for anything else, this has made me shine. unfortunately) yet mediocre output.

i can feel the dive coming.  and i have no strength and will left to heave, sigh and move on.  but i know i must.

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i can't help but feel sorry for a friend who assumed a position of authority early this year.  her predecessor just spent her work days playing bookworm and listening to music while waiting for her extended retirement to lapse.  but this friend of mine?  thanks and no thanks to her genes, is now stuck with most of the office work (official and otherwise), despite the existence of a hierarchy which should be up and running, considering that they regularly receive their salaries and humongous allowances.  sad sad sad.

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how can one selfish, inconsiderate b*stard affect the contractual relations of one government agency with a private company?  because of his continued refusal to settle his personal obligations, the private company is threatening to withhold and suspend all benefits supposedly to be utilized by the government agency.

and the bastard can't be found. he's too slick. he has two padrinos in the legislature and backing from a very influential family.  i just think that if you're that callous and well-connected anyway, why not just settle your obligations instead???  this seriously, positively affects my own personal growing clamor for noynoy to wrestle that LP presidential nomination away from... you all know who. :)

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rauf is on "book four" of his life diary.  and he's growing so fast.  he knows money is precious and would move heaven and raise hell to grab that peso bill from anyone who waves it near him.  and he loves dancing to calle ocho. with matching butt wiggles. precious.

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considering the fullness of my daily schedule, i'm stuck thinking if i really have "a life".  despite all my complaints, i still enjoy what i do and i love my job for allowing me to grow as a professional and as a civil servant.  (honestly, i still believe that there is hope for the philippine bureaucracy to stop being bureaucratic and be more responsive.  i try to do my own share, and i think i'm good at it.)  but, yes, do i have "a life"? maybe.  i am blessed with friends and family and rauf.  and maybe not just now, at this exact moment, when i'm neck deep in work.  i sooo deserve that break coming up in two months. yessssss.

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this release is just what i needed.  now i have to get some lunch, and then get back to work.  i am definitely drinking at least 2 margaritas tonight.  this MONTH has been hell, this week most of all.

carpe diem!