unselfish

when his schedule permits, rauf's dad gets to fetch him once a week for an overnighter.  i allow it as long as his yaya goes along.  my parents object to this arrangement, because they tell me that from their experience, this would result in the child becoming indecisive, sensitive and weak.  because the child doesn't feel like he has a solid home.  because the child gets shuttled back and forth between two houses, two sets of people, two parents.

it's difficult, really.  but i have done my research and asked my friends.  the important thing is that the child feels loved.  and he doesn't feel there's anything wrong or abnormal with the situation, up until he gets mature enough to understand the explanation you have prepared when he's ready to digest the facts of life.

it's a matter of preparation. and guidance. and a whole lotta loving.

and yes, being unselfish too.  because rauf is not mine and mine alone, after all.  actually, he isn't mine nor his dad's nor his grandparents'.

he will grow up to be his own man.  and i will damn well make sure of that.