i was at a 3-day out of town seminar last week and on the first night, i was sharing a few beers with the facilitators & some co-participants when i got a very disturbing text message from a beautiful, smart, intelligent woman very close to my heart. i was close to tears as i composed the most urgent, complete reply i could muster. then i called her just to make sure she was okay. she was obviously in pain, and i felt her confusion, humiliation & anger as she tried to relay to me exactly what happened. then the line got cut, and all i could do was forward her message to her family and make sure that they were alerted about the incident.
SEC. 2. Declaration of Policy.- It is hereby declared that the State values the dignity of women and children and guarantees full respect for human rights. The State also recognizes the need to protect the family and its members particularly women and children, from violence and threats to their personal safety and security. (RA 9262. Anti-Violence Against Women and Their Children Act of 2004.)
she doesn't want to do anything about it. she said she loves him. her husband is planning to buy her a condo, a new car, another new LV, perhaps.
and her family doesn't want to intervene, even if i told them that at this point, physical intervention is extremely necessary. because waiting will not work. and the next time around, things might be too late.
but nobody is listening to me.
here i am, trying to make a difference in other people's lives, making women understand that it is NOT OKAY to get beat up, telling other women that it is NOT OKAY when their husbands or boyfriends force them to have sex with them, talking to the close circles of these women and telling them that it is NOT OKAY for them to just leave their friends/sisters/daughters/aunts be. and they all listen to me.
if only i were thousands of miles away in the same desert as she, i would at least try and force her some sense into her. but all i can do now is wait for her to make the first move. because since the incident, she has been hiding from me. and i hope to high heavens that she will be okay for now, until she sees the light and decides to remember the woman she once was.
i have hope. and she knows i'm just here, waiting.
dignity. respect. right. security.
no matter how much she tries to let herself believe that things will be okay, i seriously doubt that will ever happen. ever.
because you see, my trust in the innate goodness of man dissipates at even the slightest hint of his propensity to commit abuse of any kind. this beast should thank his lucky stars i haven't seen hide nor hair of him YET.
and yes, consider this a serious threat.
9 comments:
have you heard of rihanna liwat te? rumors daw na she got back with chris brown after being beaten up and all. tsk. not that we'd care about them pero diba.
hay naku, usa pa nga ambot. that's the subject of my DV post, which is just a re-post of rina jimenez david's column about rihanna being the new 'poster girl' of domestic violence (DV).
I am not surprised with what your friend is doing and was not surprised that rihanna went back with chris brown. studies have shown that most if not all women who are victims of domestic abuse either stay or go back or never press charges. They think that either theres a no way out or it comes with the territory. Uhm no! But who are we to tell them what to do, like you said all we can do is be there for them. I still remember so vividly what Lisa Macuja said before she got married, I hope it still holds true. She said "lay one finger on me, I am out of the door."
*sigh*
I feel you. How you want to do something and help but you're forced by circumstance to sit and wait.
love is blind, as they say.
my neighbor slapped the wife last weekend, he stormed out of the house then drove out, the wife asked for my help to use my phone to call her parents (her phone broke into pieces from the quarrel). her parents came to take her, and she has not come back yet..until when i'm not sure.
had the same experience. initially she wanted to leave him. i informed her brother, who wanted to go and pick her up.
next thing i knew she was back with him and everything was coming up roses. it was her fault, she provoked him, etc. to think, that idiot she's married to is a lawyer!
sigh. how frustrating.
when you hear things like this, you can't help but be glad you're single and alone rather than in an abusive relationship.
i feel bad for all the women who allow themselves to be punching bags, except that i am not too sure how it's exactly like when you're in the same situation. it's easy to say "walk away" but when you have so thoroughly convinced yourself you love the other person, and being alone has long ceased to be an option, you're able to trick your mind into thinking that it will be okay, even if it really isn't.
love is blind.....
she must be so in love with the guy...poor girl, seems that she's waitng for the guy to change. the question is: until when will she wait?
everytime i read this blog, naiiyak ako te. as in! =(
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