sometimes I wonder where this will all end... whether it will be the stuff the usual happy endings are made of, or THE ultimate happy ending we would both want to have when the right time comes: you and me together, on our own terms. or you and me apart, but as friends. always as very good friends.
it's hard to tell sometimes, if this romance will last. I know I love you, and I really do. But I don't want to force the issue, and frankly, I know how much you'd rather prefer to not face that issue yet.
truth is, we're both cowards. just going with the flow, holding on, hanging on... for what, and until when, we will never know.
but I'm still here. floating, thriving, waiting. and hoping against hope we can make some sense out of all this someday: why we fell in love when it was the most impractical thing to do, why we stay in love despite being apart.
I haven't written like this for a while. And it feels good... To just let the doubts fall where they may, to face glaring realities and not gloss over them with expressions of undying love which you hate.
I've had an extremely long work day, and always, always, when I get home, I wish I could tell you all about it (or complain, or gloat, or ask for your opinion, or cry in frustration, whichever is applicable). Then we can share a drink together and fall asleep in each other's arms. That's all I need, and that's all I hope for. I just want to be with you. I still want to be with you.
27 months. still together despite being apart. amazing. beautiful. crazy.
wonderfully weird.
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