of forging ties and cutting strings

the dating game has always been a game to me.  it could be a game of cat and mouse, with the lines blurred as to who is the predator and the prey, with the roles eventually ending up with, fortunately or unfortunately, me as the cat.  most of the time, it's a good old game of patintero, with the taunting and the teasing and the running around, until you catch the one who's "it" off-guard, and run home free to enter the premises with cunning, possibly charm, and a whole lot of strategy, and claim your own homebase.


i am trying to be a mute witness to the numerous games going on around me at the moment, and despite my perceived "silence" and "acquiescence", for the first time in history, i have chosen the safe ground: caution.  because when things don't go as we have hoped for, the heartaches we may unintentionally cause could bring about a dearth of unexpected consequences, foremost among which would be guilt.  but we are all mature adults (i hope) and we all know what we have chosen to get ourselves into (i hope, again and again), and at the end, it is that hope that matters... that whatever happens, it is the beauty and madness of finding excitement and thrill in the dating game, and the possibility of love and/or friendship that may result.


when we date, we hope.  if not for love and companionship, then even for just a taste of it.  or we find yet another friend who will understand us.  (trust me, no one can have too many friends.  it is sifting through these friends to find the authentic from the fake that becomes a challenge later on.)  the stronger of us will move on after a bad date, or a break-up, or a separation.  the weak, well, they eventually do catch up, although it may take them longer to heal.


but when things don't go well, it is hard to put up pretenses of being "okay" and "fine" and just go through the motions of daily living.  because when we date, there are rules and regulations of the game.  i haven't experienced the western style of dating, so i wouldn't know if they are the same as the unwritten rules over here.  (is there such a thing as the universal rules of dating? or should we all just go with the flow?)  but i, for one, even if i haven't been on the dating circuit for such a long time, know this:  communication is key.  there is no such thing as being too busy to communicate.  when you become busy, then there is a lack or absence of the effort to communicate, which is already a telltale sign of an actual lack or absence of interest.  when that red flag is up, cut that string clean and fast, and move on.


am i ready to date? i don't know.  i haven't done it for the longest time.  but if my friends who have been scorned and scarred can date, then maybe so can i.  emotionally and psychologically, i think i am ready to play the game again.  play and get caught, or play and play over and over.  but this time, my rules, if any, have changed.  the ties i forge or the strings i cut will not be easy to make, all because i have to be more responsible now.  heck, i'm not in the market for a husband. not yet. that tie i cannot forge just yet.  let me be clear on that. communication is one thing i hold dear, so i might as well be crystal clear on that aspect. 


but to play... yes, i think i'm game.  and so are my friends.  singlehood has never been this exciting and complicated.  but i think we're all fair game anyway, rules be damned.


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this post is for me and for all my friends out there who are forging ties and cutting strings and just having fun.  you know who you are.  cheers!